You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
