i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
