"it" just moved
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
