he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We got so high we made milksteak
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
