just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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