turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
be right there i have to get my cape
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
