Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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