Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
