idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
