By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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