you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
