dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize