It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i now understand why vodka
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
