Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
