a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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