Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
