Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
