I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
