I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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