I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
