There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
