Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
