So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize