Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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