I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
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