He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His nipple licking is glorious
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