And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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