I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
