lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize