I hate all girls vehemently.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
