marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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