he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
