I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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