Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
