The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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