weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
