btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
