we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
