I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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