new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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