On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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