sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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