My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
