Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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