Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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