Porn is love you can see.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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