Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
