Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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