There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
