Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
