I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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