I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
