so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
