He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
