She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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