I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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