Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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