This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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