i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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