I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
