Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
