For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
