You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize