i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
