Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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