If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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