He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
