Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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