office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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