You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
