i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
