he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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