I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
